Nintendogs DOES NOT Fill the Void Inside
- I thought to myself, "This will surely fill the void inside me," as I waited in line to purchase Nintendogs for the GameBoy DS at Nintendo World in Rockefeller Center.
I raced home and powered up the game. I decided to select a beautiful Beagle named Buster as the dog I would raise.
I brought him back home, and gently stroked him with the stylus. I felt a strong connection almost immediately--a bond that I knew instinctively, would span the annals of eternity. This dog is what I've been waiting my whole life for.
"There, there, Buster," I said assuredly. I leaned closer, and spoke into the system's microphone, "As your trainer, I pledge to you that together, we will overcome impossible odds. We will find truth where there is only falseness, meaning within the most unintelligible of sentences, and bring rays of piercing light to places where sun don't shine."
A red question mark appeared above Buster's head. He sat there and stared at me.
"My dearest friend, perhaps you didn't understand me, I pledge..." and I repeated my urgent message, emboldened by this puppy's thirst to drink from my deep well of knowledge. I continued raving into the mic using impassioned phrases and quotes from our nation's greatest leaders.
The red question mark appeared again above the dog's head. He retreated to the other side of our house and began licking himself.
"Buster, was I boring you?"
He raced back to the front of the screen, "Arf arf!"
"I see. Are you saying you don't agree with my ideals?
"You don't want to share your life with me?"
"And by this you mean you wish you'd never been brought into this virtual world?"
"Arf arf arf!!!!"
I let out a primal howl. "Oh God! Why do you torture me so!" With a trembling hand I ripped the game out of the system and threw it at a nearby wall.