God Damn It! My $200 Faux Distressed Jeans Have Developed Actual Distress!
- I'm so furious! I'm filled with rage! GRRRR! I spent 200 dollars on a pair of distressed designer jeans--and look at what happens! See--right next to the fake rips are ACTUAL rips. I've only washed them a couple times and they're totally falling apart.
The aloof salesperson at Bloomie's assured me the denim I was purchasing came from the earth's most endangered strains of cotton. The holes were laboriously placed using technological breakthroughs pioneered by Guatemalans making 8 cents per hour. I spent so much money on them! Gosh, the actual tears in my pants make it look like I've been wearing shitty jeans I'd wear to a motorcycle parade, not awesome distressed designer jeans I'd wear to go clubbing.
An example of distress I paid for:
An example of distress I did not pay for: