What do you think, CEOs?: Old Navy Launches New Skin Care Line
- It was reported that Old Navy is coming out with a line of personal skin care products. Other blogs would go to pedestrian walkways to interview laymen for the buzz on a topic this hot. However, I go straight to The Street and into the chambers of the nation’s most powerful CEOs.
Tom Shiluley, CEO of Kleenex Inc. states:
Before becoming the CEO of Kleenex, I was a VP at Yugo automobiles. Our motto there was, “Let’s polish this turd!” It seems our optimism has spread to other corporations!
Denise Carter, CEO of Bounty Paper Towel Rolls LTD says:
This is fantastic news. When I’m on a 1st date with a man at his apartment and I'm unzipping his pants, the last thing I want is to suddenly find out I’m effing someone who wears Old Navy underwear. Now, after he’s done fingering me, but before I’ve rocked his penis, I can excuse myself to use the bathroom and root through his medicine cabinet for Old Navy skin care products. This way, I know up front if I should be bullish or bearish.
Elliot Anderson, CEO of the Brawn Napkin Co. added:
My daughter begged me, "Please Daddy, please! Take me to Old Navy." I knew what I had to do. I implicated her in an interglobal accounting fraud scandal and now she's serving the next 8 years in juvie. That should straighten her out.
Marty Fabrizio, CEO of Sam's Choice Bath Tissue LLC underscores:
I used to think the two most embarrassing things in the world are being seen flying coach on The Concorde and being spotted carrying a shopping bag from Old Navy. The Concorde hasn't flown since October of 2003, which makes by default, YOU GUESSED IT, carrying a shopping bag from Old Navy the most embarrassing thing in the world.