Yard Sale! - The Finale
- Debbie from across the barren studio apartment and my eyes pierced her like a belly button. Ever since she was hospitalized and treated for mild brain damage, she hasn't been the same.
"I demand answers!" I shouted as I pounded my balled up fist on the rugless hardwood.
"You haven't asked a question yet," Debbie volleyed.
"Why did you sell all my stuff for a handful of change and then blow all that change on tampons?"
"Um... my menses?" Debbie responded. No remorse.
"Debbie, I--just... I just. I just don't understand you." I put my head in my palms, "There is so much in this world that I DO understand, like SAT questions, for example."
Debbie sighed. "Look Nate, I wanted to keep what I'm about to tell you a secret, but I guess I've gotta come clean."
"I don't care if you're a hardcore butch lesbian who spends her days thinking about labias and her nights dreaming of tight punanis. Beneath that burqa, you are still probably the same person I've always casually known and disliked, Debbie. "
"I'm not a lesbian."
"I cleared out all of your stuff," she continued.
"Go on," I beckoned.
"Because..." she lingered.
"Yes???" I swallowed.
"I..." she tiptoed.
"Tell me!!!!!!!" I yelled.
"I needed space for a litterbox."