Say Something Nice To... Lynndie England!
Lynndie R. England. American icon. You need cheered up! Too many player denigrators out there. She's in the news again for pleading guilty to the Abu Ghraib prison abuses re: her and a bunch of naked Iraqi detainees. These are trying times for our hometown girl. Follow this trail of kindness and say something nice too!
--We’ve all "Done the Lynndie," but only a handful can say they’ve actually "Done" the Lynndie. (sexually).
--11 Years in federal prison sounds sooo long. Yuck! Think of it as 4017.25 days.
--This is outrageous! The prosecution has no evidence!
--I think you were framed. Isn’t being stacked in a hooded, nude fuck-pyramid how Iraqis normally spend their time?
--You and co-conspirator Charles Graner went on to conceive a beautiful child together. Goes to show this old adage still holds true, All you need is love... and torture!
--Laughing at others' genitals is not a crime.
--You won't have to worry about getting a stifling admin day job to make ends meet. Work stinks!
--When America's Next Top Model photographer, Nigel Barker, saw your portfolio when you were 18 and seeking modeling work, he said you were "dead in the eyes" and dismissed you. Look who the camera loves now. You!
--I'm pretty sure entering a Guilty plea before a military tribunal to enjoin in the commission of war crimes gets erased from your permanent record when you turn 25. I think your car insurance premiums go down too.
Say something nice!
The last time we were nice:
Say something nice to... Paris Hilton!