Oh, The Places You'll End Up!: On Stage at The Comedy Zone telling 9/11 jokes to Other Gutless Asshats and The Bored
If you're a used airplane salesman and some toweljockey comes lookin' to buy a plane... There's probably no point in pushing the extended warranty! I'm just sayin'! Just sayin' people.
Everyone in college thought you were hilarious. Heck, your friends still encourage you, "You should totally submit something to McSweeney's! Like a list or some bullshit." Little do they know, your email inbox holds countless rejection letters from every editor at every magazine in the world—even Equus.
Your office job is really stifling your creativity. Maybe it's time for a career in stand up comedy? Yes that's it! You've got some good material about college life in you. Oh! You know what else is funny? Swearing! That's hilarious. But you want to be edgy—that's your thing. Bingo! 9/11 Jokes.
Did you hear Michael Graves is designing the new Freedom Tower? Yeah, he's going to put a Target logo on the front of the building! I’m just sayin'! Just sayin' people.
Tonight is your first night. You have been practicing your bits for weeks. Now get out there and shine!
Uh oh. No one's laughing. Oh dear. A fat dude just threw a battery at you. Eek! But you have 20 more minutes of these jokes! At this time you'll look at your watch, wipe the disgusting sweat off of your bald brow and remark, "Oh, the Places I've Ended Up!"