Tips to Make Earth Day Everyday
-Instead of breaking a 40 on a curb and cutting one bitch, use that same 40 to cut two bitches.
-Also, when pouring a 40 on the street in remembrance of a dead homey, dedicate that 40 to all your other friends who you think are going to die in a very tragic way.
-Refrain from defecating in public waterways.
-Don't dump used cooking oil down the sink. Ingest it.
-If you work in a restaurant and your manager asks you to "marry the ketchups," remember to remove and reuse all of the cutlery you find in the bottles.
-Recycle your used SUVs instead of driving them once and throwing them away.
-There are 6 billion people alive on Earth. That means we're going to have to put 6 billion caskets into the ground some day. When it's your time to pass, request in your will that your lifeless body be callously dumped into a mass Sudanese grave or jettisoned into space.
-Don't change your car's oil every 3000 miles. Wait until something crazy happens.
-Try to eat fruits and vegetables that say "Now with 20 percent less pesticide!" on the stickers.
-Fart only when absolutely necessary.
-Switch from drinking 9 cans of Mountain Dew every day to just one 3-Liter.
-Conserve labor overhead by enslaving humans from the Far East to sew all of your clothes.
-When transporting toxic chemicals along the interstates in a semi, take time to learn how to drive first.
-Bake a cake to show appreciation for your garbage man and set it out by the curb.
-When you say to a dude, "Hey, Instead of driving separate cars, let’s take the bus," and the dude quotes Homer Simpson and goes, "No way! The bus is for jerks and lesbians," rip off your latex mask that reveals that you are actually Rosie O'Donnell, punch him in the face, and then get on that bus!
What do you do to make Earth Day everyday?