- Sploid, short for Super Duper Hemorrhoid, is a new site launched by Gawker Media.
Anyone familiar with internet publishing knows that the thirst for hits is insatiable. One could get a million hits a month and not be satisfied. Is Gawker merely focused on engorging its girthy shaft with more blood? Nah. I think they are working towards something slightly deeper, along the lines of, durrr I don’t know, TAKING OVER THE INTERNET AND ENSLAVING ALL OF HUMANITY BY FITTING US WITH METAL SKULL CAPS JUST LIKE THE TRIPODS DID IN JOHN CHRISTOPHER’S JUVENILE SCI-FI THRILLER THE WHITE MOUNTAINS!
I can't prove it. But, Gawker smartly realizes that the only thing that stands between them and taking control of the news cycle is The Drudge Report. If they can wrangle that away, which shouldn’t be too much of a problem based on the popularity of their sites, Gawker will be poised to become one of the most powerful media companies ever despite never using any other broadcasting outlet besides the internet.
Brooklyn Vegan links today to an article that discusses how Pitchfork--a site run by nerds about gaywads--can move considerably more albums for a gaywad than a cover spread on Spin and Rolling Stone. Clearly, there's some serious muscle to be made and flexed on the internet, and Gawker intends to sculpt their muscles to the max using metaphorical designer steroids and lots of metaphorical bodybuilding.
How can NBC Universal, Time Warner, and Disney be so short sighted as to not see what Gawker is up to? They'll have billions of dollars but they'll be taking orders from a company that has recently instituted paper currency as a form of payment for their writers.
I see what's coming. Gawker will own us eventually. I'm cool with it though, I like their editorial voice. I've just discovered I'm an anarcho-capitalist and that Sploid appeals to me on every level.