A Slice of Life: What did you do with the metadata?!
- At an emergency office supplies meeting at the Burning Bridges Greeting Card Company. It's just Bobo Bridges (the CEO), Montana (Bobo's slutty secretary), and me, the 2nd Assistant to the Vice President of Consumer Affairs' Assistant. The 1st Assistant – the evil Sebastian Tolliver — was fired recently. The title has remained vacant. Montana and I are seated at opposite extremes of a 15 foot oak conference table. Bobo sits in the middle.
Bobo Bridges: How is your bosom today, Montana?
Montana: Just fine. Thanks.
Bobo: Mmmmm yes. Nate, we are having this meeting with you to discuss a fatal flaw in our binder clip supply chain. Yesterday, our binder clip reserve dipped to dangerously low levels. If it weren't for a Staples delivery truck that errantly crashed into our building this morning and the frenzied looting that ensued, we might be facing one of our worst crises yet.
Me: Sir, I can explain. The data I have shows that during this time in April, our offices go through approximately 300,000 binder clips per diem. No one could predict we'd use a million today. Look at these spreadsheets.
Bobo: These are interesting documents.
Me: The data speaks for itself.
Bobo: Yes, the data seems accurate.
Montana: He clearly didn’t take into account the metadata.
Me: The what?
Bobo: You forgot to include the metadata?
Me: Um... I dunno. The Excel Chart Wizard never said anything about metadata.
Bobo: Ooooh! This really butters my biscuits! I would expect near-sightedness out of Sebastian Tolliver, but not you Nate! Do you have any idea what would happen to this company if we ran out of binder clips??
Me: Not especially. What is everyone clipping all the time? We sell greeting cards, don’t we?
Bobo: Enough! Go back to your desk and prepare new documents—this time build your graphs using all of the available metadata.
Me: Where do I find this metadata?
Montana: You'll see it's just beyond the other data.
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