A One Sided Conversation With: My Local Florist!
- "Hi there. What a nice arrangement you have! Look at all these pretty flowers—you've got white roses, pink tulips, and sunflowers."
"Oh yes, I agree. The gays do love sunflowers."
"Don't mind me as I lumber around the store casing the joint and calculating something. Ah! Over here—is this a flat of morning glories?? You don’t say. I've always enjoyed the calming sight and crisp smell of these precious flowers. I would really like to germinate my own garden—there's a special satisfaction one gets from nurturing a plant from the tiniest seed to the tallest bud."
"Yep, I wouldn't mind growing some Morning Glories of my own this Spring."
*I winked at her*
"Hmmm. I said—I wouldn't mind GROWING my own. You follow?"
*I winked twice*
"Look you dumb b*tch—just give me all the Morning Glory seeds you got!! Put them in this burlap sack! Now! Now! Now!"
"Yeah that's it. Gimme all those Morning Glory subspecies too—the Grandpa Otts, the Heavenly Blues, the Moonflower—don't try to be a hero, keep shoving those Burpee packets in the bag, slag!!"
"What you think I'm gonna do with them? I'm gonna get so high I can't even move. Shut up."
"I was just kidding about this being a nice shop. THIS STORE SUCKS!"
*I took the sack and charged out the door*
For your reference