Yesterday, I was Culturally Relevant: The Arcade Fire @ Irving Plaza
photo via Eats Dirt
The cultural relevance just don't quit. I totally achieved it once again simply by spending 3 gazillion dollars to score a ticket to the final show in The Arcade Fire's Bowery and Beyond: NYC Concert Trilogy.
For those who recall my previous rise to relevance, it was almost marred by a short person. Once again, height deprived people fought in vain to ruin my life. I was shoving my way through the crowd just left of center stage to get to the front and I see this huge gap of open space dead in the middle of the throng. "This is where I can stand," I exclaimed! And then I looked down…
Would you believe a half dozen grown demi-adults ranging in height between 4 foot 7 and 5 foot 1 were all huddled there? I was shocked and enraged. From a visibility standpoint, you might think that it's great to be standing behind them. But my goal was to get as close to the stage as possible so I could mosh and do some floor punching. Now, if I were to stand in front of the lil' ankle biters, I wouldn't hear the end of it. But lurking behind them was worse, because I kept fearing they were going to get squashed or broken. I graciously offered to lend a hand and boost them up to the balcony—but they thought I was kidding.
Thankfully, four songs into The Arcade Fire's set, the band's leader climactically teetered on the front edge of the stage and leapt with his guitar into the crowd. And just as I feared and wished for, all the short people were trampled as everyone rushed to bounce around the singer.
All I remember thinking the whole time he was on the floor was, "Dude, whoever does their dry cleaning must be a millionaire."
Get it? They sweat a lot. And wear the same formal wear every day.
So what made the night relevant? Was it merely their power packed shows? Hmmm… there was definitely something that made this more relevant than before. I can't remember. Let me think. Okay… trying to focus. Oh man, what was it? Oh yeah.
DAVID FUCKING BYRNE
During the encore, The AF hauls out a steel drum for a Talking Heads cover they've been known to do and all of a sudden, David Fucking Byrne comes on stage and the crowd goes bananas. FYI: He’s still got the hips of a 7 year old boy, the hair of a 70 year old man, and the voice of an angel.
At the end of the show, reports say people were heard outside saying, "You didn't know who that was? That was the singer of the Talking Heads--David BRINE!"
Culturally relevant!
Others who were culturally relevant:
Brooklyn Vegan -- With great audio & links!
Out of Focus -- With a great story!
Central Village -- With a great camera phone!
Eats Dirt -- With the greatest pictures ever!
The last time I was culturally relevant:
The Arcade Fire @ The Bowery Ballroom
4 Comments:
I HATE TALL PEOPLE at concerts! Ya'll think you have some kind of right to be the only ones who see shiz. And you probably barely know the words but try to sing along anyway. And the grossest part is, us shorties can feel the air come out of your nostrils when you breath. EWWWWWWWWWW.
And it dunn'nt stop there. No. Ya'll lean back your seats on airplanes to the point where us shorties can smell your brek-scented scalp, and ya'll size people up at the urnials cuz you can and nobody will notice. Well let me tell you what: Ya'll can stop peeking cuz though you may be bigger than us, but we're, ahem, BIGGGGGEERRRRRR, than all'a'ya'll. F*in beeeotches.
Props to the fellow shorties in the world.
Hi Tyler. I know that other shorty is you.
Stop beating a short horse. You don't know how it feels.
Equus
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