winneroftheSAT's 2004 Christmas Card Bulletin
- Hey there friends and relatives! 2004 has been quite a year for me.
From January through most of October, I was unemployed! In order to pay for food and rent, I had to turn tricks outside the YMCA Community House. It's not as bad as it sounds, you make your own hours, you're your own boss, and sometimes clients would lend you their AARP cards to take advantage of some of the great deals at participating vendors. My best night in terms of net gains, including the value of the two Big Buford sandwiches purchased for me minus the loss of dignity, came out to about 46 dollars!
In March, I took a long needed vacation. I packed a suitcase and took the subway all the way to The Bronx. I saw lots of amazing things! (The One Hour Photo people at Rite Aid were probably cursing me for dumping all those rolls of film on their counter.) The gang violence in The Bronx is so different from the kind here in Park Slope. I was also shocked by the number of crimes I saw committed with firearms. Oh, I got a chance to test out my Spanish too. This phrase came in very useful: “Hola, como esta usted? Donde esta la salida?” It’s good to experience new cultures--keeps you grounded. After about 3 hours, I hopped back on the MTA and went home.
It was sometime in May that I began taking hardcore Muy Thai kickboxing classes at a school around the block. Man, one day I forgot to bring shinguards and a helmet. That was a mistake! My shins were snapped in half after two horrifyingly painful blows and I got elbowed so many times in the head the doctors gave up counting how many concussions I received. i've since lost interest in the sport.
In July, I started a blog! I wrote a riveting piece about Coke C2 for my friend Todd’s website. He said, "This is great Nate! Yes! I really feel this article will connect with my readers and bring in higher ad revenues. I’m going to place it right here in my circular filing cabinet. Okay! Ready to file!" *crumple crumple crumple* "Hey why don’t you start a blog?" The rest is history.
Oh, in August, I got a new roommate. She's okay, her name is Debbie. She's still in the hospital, I think. Her cat, Oasis, sucked. And no Mom, Debbie's not my girlfriend! Jeez! Quit hounding me.
In October, I finally landed a job. About time, huh? You'd think someone who wins the SAT could get a job a little bit easier. For friends or relatives out there thinking college is your express ticket to starting a great and satisfying career, you should really consider dropping out while you still have your youth and then kill yourself once you turn 23.
Okay everybody! Have a safe and Merry Christmas!