Running the 2004 NYC Marathon
My ankles are swollen and blue and I've covered my entire body (except for my genitals) in mentholated Ben-Gay adhesive wraps. I've been sitting in a bathtub full of ice for the past 3 hours like a keg of flat Natty Light at a house party. Except, this ain’t no house party, y'all. This is what it feels like the day after participating in the NYC Marathon. Woops! There go my toenails.
What possessed me to do this?? What did I possibly accomplish yesterday? Sure it’s one of humanity’s crowning pinnacles of achievement to run 26.2 miles in a row, but is it worth it? Can you put a value on achievement? Isn’t saying I accomplished something just as good as actually accomplishing something? For all intents and purposes, It should be!
I spent all yesterday morning clapping and screaming words of encouragement for the fast marathon runners. Go Liz! Keep it up Eugene! Push it to the limit Marek! You can do it trannie running backwards! My palms quickly became chafed beyond repair and I developed a bit of seasonal laryngitis. It was tough racing through the subway to catch up with the leaders, but it was all worth it to see them smile and barf all over themselves when they crossed the finish line.
Inspired by these 37,257 maniacs, I decided to run a marathon on the treadmill at the YMCA I frequent. I first set my sights on doing a full marathon. Then I lowered them to a half marathon. After 3 minutes, I decided there's no face lost in just running a 1/8th marathon, and finally I settled on just running for 10 minutes--which later turned into jogging for 5 minutes, then power walking the rest.
As you can imagine, I didn't stretch very well afterwords, and boy am I paying for it now! But the sense of pride and achievement I garnered is something this lasting lifetime physical pain and ankle deformity could never take away. Who knows, maybe I inspired someone at the gym to run/walk a 1/ 26th marathon. There was a wrinkly old lady staring at my loins the entire time, perhaps she went home to fantasize about running a marathon too.
Once I recover from my attempted marathon, I will begin training again. Next year, look for 37, 258 maniacs out on those city streets.