I Can't Believe my Cup of Yogurt used Me Like This
- I was bored last night and feeling a little bit hot and restless. Since my studio apartment is scantily tiny, I slinked about 9 inches away from my bed and went to the micro-fridge to find something, anything to eat. Eyeballing the inventory inside, I saw large cucumbers, eggplants, long carrots, a few green bananas, a smoked kielbasa, and a fat tube of Genoa salami. I didn’t feel like constructing anything and I wasn’t feeling like a fruit, so I moved the firm bananas aside and behind them was an 8 oz.cup of Key Food brand blended blueberry yogurt!
Goldmine! That was exactly what I was craving. It was just sitting there all coy in the back. I gently handled the salami out of the way and I positioned my legs so I could jerk the yogurt from the corner of the fridge with ease. This was the cool treat I desired.
Fumbling in the soft night lighting with the smooth plastic lid, I pulled it off and I was about to rip back the foil rim when I realized I shouldn't be doing this without a spoon. I hurriedly fondled through the kitchen tool drawer for a suitable clean utensil to put in my mouth and thankfully I found a large tablespoon.
Eager with carnal hunger, I ravenously tore off the foil and--SPLOOGE!--without warning, drops of creamy blueberry yogurt bursted out, splattering all up and down my nightshirt!
What the fuck just happened here?