The Interview - Part 2
- “Ah! The pleasure to meet you is all mine. I am Nate.”
Bobo’s handshake was so firm and agonizingly painful. “Oh, yeeeessss! Let’s take a walk through the Burning Bridges production office, shall we?” His back-to-front combover flopped as he talked.
“I am a big fan of walking, sir! Offices are another one of my interests too! I can tell already that my career objectives are going to mesh quite well with this company, it seems, I suppose,” I rattled agreeably.
We left the elevator banks and walked through one set of frosted double glass doors. In front of us was another set. To the right was a striking twenty-something, tall blonde woman with enormous porno cleavage standing behind a podium height desk. She looked like a Delta Airlines ticketing agent gone wild.
“Any messages for me, Montana?”
“Oh yes, Mr. Bridges. I do have one.”
“Mmmm....I love getting good messages,” replied Bobo as he slithered closer to her.
“And I love to take messages. I like long, hard messages. I take them...anywhere.”
“Even here?” Before he thought of this retarded rhetorical question, Bobo was already behind the desk with one hand up the backside of Montana’s skirt. They started kissing. Then they started french kissing. Then she pushed him against her stand and abruptly stopped, looked straight at me and sneered.
“What’s wrong with your friend?” A flustered Bobo angled himself to see my response.
“Oh, I got stabbed in the face.”
Bobo cleared his throat and came around the desk to rap me solidly on my back with his hand, “This man here might be our new employee!”
“Welcome to Burning Bridges,” Montana said with boredom.
With that, we proceeded through the second set of double doors.
The office was about 2000 square feet of total anarchy. A factory-sized automated printing press was making horrible ear splitting noises while it crunched cardstock, shredding and shooting it into the air and floor. Two women in powersuits were screaming at each other about how to stop the machine. A man in a tie and rolled up sleeves was kicking another man in a tie and torn off sleeves on the ground in the ribs. A fire was raging on a desk near the back while some guy fumbled with an extinguisher. Three children were chasing each other through all the chaos playing tag while a border collie with a frisbee in its mouth was playfully chasing the children and jovially barking at them.
“It’s always hectic here right before the holidays,” Bobo joked as we veered to the right and down a corridor leading to his office. “Oh Nate, before we get to the interview, I need you to fill out some paperwork.”
“Good thing I brought a pen, sir!”
He grabbed some documents from a file cabinet and continued, “Right...Yes, well it’s not much--just a formal application, some questionnaires, a few PRE-EMPLOYMENT PSYCHOLOGICAL EXAMINATIONS, etc. Nothing to worry about...if you're sane!”
He chuckled. Then I chuckled. We both chuckled together. Then he stopped. I kept chuckling.
"Fill out all these useless papers, take the exams, and come back to me when you're done."
To be continued!