What's this yellow ribbon all over my door?
- I am aghast! Hooligans have toilet papered the front door of my apartment building! I come home from a session with my job coach to find the most curious yellow ribbon crisscrossing the frame. I tried to push through this TP like a world class sprinter going through a finish line but much like a child playing Red Rover, I was clotheslined and fell backwards back on to my stoop. What kind of toilet paper is this? It has writing on it! Big bold scary letters…what do they say? I don’t have my reading spectacles on. I’ll squint.
“PO-L-I…..Is that a C…uh, E? L…INE…”
Just then, some hulking barbarian in a police officer’s outfit elbowed me out of the way and my limp body crashed against a nearby railing. “You can’t stand here,” he barked.
“I live here,” I retorted incredulously. How dare this man disrespect me in my house!
The policeman interrogated, “You don’t live in Apartment D, do you?” He was trying to break me. I won’t comply. But his piercing eyes—-his rank breath! Argh! I couldn’t take it anymore.
“YES! I do live in Apartment D, indeed! I told you everything I know. Stop!!”
"Do you know a woman named Debbie?"
"No. It's a pretty name. Never heard of her though," I lied. "Why?"
"She's been taken to the hospital."