Positively Opposite Review: "Father of the Pride" series premiere
- Due to the format of the Positively Opposite Review, most circumstances and plots are real, but actual opinions expressed herein are completely altered and devoid of any and all truth in order to preserve an upbeat reading environment.
NBC cranks it with its hot new runaway fall hit based on the menagerie of animals living with magician Sigfried and his magician partner Roy! It’s Father of the Pride!! Ahh!!!! Father of the Pride is totally like this season’s Whoopi—AKA best new show EVER! Network executives, listen up! Don’t even try to scramble for a midseason replacement because you have nothing to fear with this crowd pleaser. This is one bonafide jewel of a show. It’s like the Hope Diamond!
Just thinking about the relationship between the quality of the collection of amazing talent and the quality of the final product just makes my eyes water with glee! John Goodman, Cheryl Hines, Andy Richter, Dreamworks—who isn’t sailing on this vessel destined for primetime glory? Let’s all hold on hopes for syndication!!
Here’s a quick recap of the series premiere last night, in case you were out shooting yourself in the head for missing it the first time:
-The main character, Lion, finally has some alone time after dropping off Child Lion at school and starts talking about how he wants to fuck Lioness, his wife!
-Lion comes home to drill her, and Female Giant Panda is staying over at the den sobbing about being a fat 36 year old virgin! “No one will ever fuck me,” she cries.
-On their TV, they see that Sigfried and Roy are buying Male Giant Panda for their backyard. “Hopefully, Male Giant Panda will fuck me,” says Female Giant Panda.
-Lion gets a blowjob from a house cat!
-Cut to what should be a commercial. Oh! What a surprise! Today’s show is presented commercial free by no one! Too many advertisers were lining up to put ads on it and NBC didn’t want to single out just one!
-We’re back! Here’s the twist! Ready?? Male Giant Panda doesn’t want to fuck Female Giant Panda. After being taken under Lion’s wing, he decides Lion’s wife is the one he wants! He wants to fuck Lioness!! That’s like crossbreeding! How bold!
-After a series of coherent twists and turns, Lion’s Father-in-Law slaps some sense into Male Giant Panda.
-Male Giant Panda and Female Giant Panda go out for some drinks! Hopefully they fuck!!!!!!!
-The end! Tune in next week!!
What’s a matter CBS & FOX? Where are your new primetime animated series that cost $2 million per episode and 2 years to make? If you wanna roll with the big boys, you gotta plunk down some rocks!
Here’s to the start of a ratings victory for NBC!!! Hooray! FATHER OF THE PRIDE RULES!!!!
For more Positively Opposite Reviews, check out this one for the Little Black Book movie premiere!