i'm not so sure about this speech, originally uploaded by winnerofthesat.

Throughout my life, I have grappled with my own identity, who I am. As a young child, I often felt ambivalent about myself, in fact, confused.
I love being up here at these press conferences. I wonder what today’s is about? Look at James. He looks so cute right now.

By virtue of my traditions, and my community, I worked hard to ensure that I was accepted as part of the traditional family of America. I married my first wife, Kari, out of respect and love. And together, we have a wonderful, extraordinary daughter. Kari then chose to return to British Columbia.
What a skank. She all mysteriously ran off. How hot do I look in this powersuit?

I then had the blessing of marrying Dina, whose love and joy for life has been an incredible source of strength for me. And together, we have the most beautiful daughter.
I’m the luckiest woman in the world! Damn straight our daughter is the most beautiful. I hope people notice that he said he and Kari’s daughter was merely wonderful and ours is the most beautiful.

Yet, from my early days in school, until the present day, I acknowledged some feelings, a certain sense that separated me from others. But because of my resolve, and also thinking that I was doing the right thing, I forced what I thought was an acceptable reality onto myself, a reality which is layered and layered with all the, quote, good things, and all the, quote, right things of typical adolescent and adult behavior.
What’s he talking about? It’s cold in here. Are my nipples hard? Yup. They sure are. I really need to go to the post office before it closes.

At a point in every person's life, one has to look deeply into the mirror of one's soul and decide one's unique truth in the world, not as we may want to see it or hope to see it, but as it is.
I’m not so sure about this speech. Kinda boring if you ask me. But he’s the governor--not me. I wish I had some Skittles. So hungry. James better be ready for all the hot sex I have planned tonight. I’m gonna pin him down. James--what a tease.

And so my truth is that I am a gay American. And I am blessed to live in the greatest nation with the tradition of civil liberties, the greatest tradition of civil liberties in the world, in a country which provides so much to its people.
Uh......

Yet because of the pain and suffering and anguish that I have caused to my beloved family, my parents, my wife, my friends, I would almost rather have this moment pass.
Are you fucking kidding me?

For this is an intensely personal decision, and not one typically for the public domain. Yet, it cannot and should not pass.
You told me this speech was gonna be about zoning policies.

I am also here today because, shamefully, I engaged in adult consensual affair with another man, which violates my bonds of matrimony. It was wrong. It was foolish. It was inexcusable.
Um....

And for this, I ask the forgiveness and the grace of my wife.
You better have a real fucking good divorce lawyer, asshole.

She has been extraordinary throughout this ordeal, and I am blessed by virtue of her love and strength.
So, because my vagina has been a barren wasteland for the past 3 years, I’m extraordinary? I’m like a prop up here. The idiot wife. Were there signs? I suppose. I guess I missed the hint every night when I asked him if he wanted to do it and he said “With you? Sorry babe, I’m late for a meeting.”

Given the circumstances surrounding the affair and its likely impact upon my family and my ability to govern, I have decided the right course of action is to resign.
Where did I find this guy? He’s gay AND he’s unemployed.

My resignation will be effective on November 15th of this year.
I’m resigning as wife way earlier than that buddy.

I'm very proud of the things we have accomplished during my administration. And I want to thank humbly the citizens of the state of New Jersey for the privilege to govern.
Bastard.

Thank you.