I'm gonna find out what's so fishy about my roommate! - Part 3
- “Over here is the slop bucket that I use as a bathroom. Behind it is the hot plate that serves as a kitchen--don't leave it on unattended. You’ll see to the right of the kitchen is the floor that doubles as a closet.” I chaperoned potential new roommate Debbie around my dumpy studio apartment. “Oh, and here is my hand in which you can cut me a check for one month’s rent--1200 dollars plus two times security deposit.” I pointed to my open palm with the other.
“Your home is so beautiful. A little small. But, I love the view of the New York City skyline from the window.”
“Absolutely,” I said disinterested. Out the corner of my eye I saw a pen sticking out of a pocket of my pants laying in a crumpled heap near the bathroom. “Do you need a stylus for check writing purposes?” She toured the room running her hand over a fake oak bookcase and non-matching media center.
Debbie’s appearance is a little odd by Western standards. Her entire head and body was clad in black free flowing linens. The only reason I let this slag into the building is because she claimed she works for a television company. She then implied she’d pass my resume around at the place.
“Why don’t you take off that drab gown and stay a while,” I urged.
“Oh no, Nate, I could never do that. My burqa must stay on at all times.”
“It’s okay if you’re ugly,” I lied.
“...I’m not ugly.”
“Of course you’re not. Oh hey Debbie, here’s a few extra copies of my curriculum vitae for the office.” I extended to her a small stack of papers from a pile with a post-it on top labeled “Resume: CURRENT.” She slowly took to meeting my outstretched resumes. “So tell me more about what you do at work!”
“I can’t really talk about it. I’m on a confidential short term assignment. If the information I have leaks out, countless lives would be in danger. Hostile governments would come to power in the Middle East and overthrow ones friendly to the United States.”
“You can tell me, Debbie! Who am I going to blab to? I have a web log, but I would never ever write your personal secrets on it.” OMG, if she would just tell me one awesome secret I could get soooo many hits on my hit counter! “Can I guess for whom you work?”
“No. I really can’t afford to...”
“No.” She sighs.
“Are you one of the radical clerks who follows Muqtada Al-Sadr? What makes those storefront operators so angry?”
“Jo Ann Fabrics?”
“Stop it. Can I move in or what?” As she said this her voice cracked and a faint wisp of a British accent snuck out from the sofa cover wrapping her mouth.
“Hmmm...I’m going to figure you out. I assume you’ll tell me at some point what company I’m going to be drafting a cover letter for. But you can move in. For now.”
“Fantastic. I’ll bring my bunkbed over from Staten Island tomorrow. I’ll have to build some closet space for all my burqas. Shall I write this check out to Nate S...?”
“No no. Nate is sufficient.”
“Well Nate, I look forward to living with you. I do hope we made the right decision today,” Debbie concluded.