Reader's Poll: The Results are in!
- To chart the progress of this site, I mailed out 1000 surveys to the 23 dedicated people who regularly come to http://winnerofthesat.blogspot.com. I had many important questions that I couldn’t possibly answer by guessing. Nearly half a dozen surveys came pouring back flooding my mailbox practically exploding it. Thanks to these surveys, the debt collectors, the eviction notices, court summons, insurance fraud investigators, and opium druglords coming for their money, I am by far the most popular person in my apartment complex. (And I live in the same building as Ted McGinley!) Thank you so much.
And now..the results!
Are you Male or Female?
On a scale of 1 to 10, how would you rate this site?
Average Response: 2
My Favorite Response: 10
Are you within the lucrative 18-49 demographic which my advertisers so desperately crave? If not, why?
91% responded: No - Too old
9% responded: No - Too young to read or count
What would make this site better?
Porn - 50%
Content that isn’t derivative - 20%
Articles that are funny - 30%
Percentage of Readers who prefer 72 hour quaalude benders to this site:
Are you sober now?
30% responded: Yes
65% responded: Define sober
Percentage of Readers with Broadband, DSL, or T1 connections:
Percentage of Readers with Internet Access:
Percentage of Readers who are neither living nor dead:
Number of Kids who prefer Crayons to Guns:
7 out of 10
Percentage of men who find sweater robes attractive on girls:
Percentage of female readers who feel beautiful while wearing sweater robes:
33% Greasy McGillicuty's Grease Shack
32% Some yuppie shithole in the West Village
60% said: Nickelback
28% said: Usher
12% said: Stone Temple Pilots
Who is your favorite VH1 I Love the 90s commentator?
45% Michael Ian Black
45% Hal Sparks
5% - Tie - Six from Blossom & That guy from the Power Rangers
If Male, what is your penis size in inches?:
If Female, how loose is your Vagina:
Have you ever slept with a Webmaster before?
40% said No
Would you like to?
20% said: Depends on the Webmaster.
80% said: I prefer sleeping with people who could provide for my children.
What is your favorite website?
95% said: http://www.fatchicksinpartyhats.com
5% said: http://www.npr.org
“Yeah, I think you suck, your site sucks, and everything you’ve ever touched will suck forever always and until the end of time. Worthless piece of crap.” -- Jennifer Lipschitz
"I have followed you to New York, Mr. S. I have spent many years strategizing my next move. The stars are almost in alignment." -- Sebastian T.
“Could you for once try not being such a loser?” -- WinneroftheSAT’s brother
“Your site makes me laugh so much. My prison sentence seems to just fly by.” --Mikey Gaglione
“When I get out of prison, I’m going to find you and kill you.” --Mikey Gaglione
“This website is wonderful.” --Sally Carvers
“All my life people have been telling me that I’m stupid, but I swear I’m not.” --Sally Carvers
**Big ups go out to everyone who participated! See you Monday!**